Start with Why.


I’ve been reading Start with Why by Simon Sinek. Although this is a book aimed at businesses or entrepreneurs it got me thinking about the people who achieve their therapeutic or coaching goals most easily.

Simon talks about how many businesses have access to the same resources and yet some are successful, and some are not. Isn’t it the same on a personal level? We may have access to the same tools, techniques, and resources as our friends and yet we just can’t get the same results. We might not be as happy, healthy, or driven even though we try the same things. We may enter therapy or coaching with the exact same goals as someone else and, yet they can give up unhealthy habits or change negative behaviours where we stay completely stuck in ours.

So, if it is a level playing field what could be different? Well, my hunch is, it is the ‘why’ that makes the difference. If you know why you want to change, the how will happen. However,  if the reason you want to change is that society tells you that should live life a certain way, or your parents want you to achieve a certain goal or your partner wants you to change a certain behaviour, it is not your ‘why’. The why is somebody else’s. When it is someone else’s ‘why,’ you will never find the ‘how ‘. Even if you are shown the way you will sabotage it, because the goal is not your desired goal, it is someone else’s.

Find Your Why

If you want real long-lasting and sustainable change you need to find your why. That is not to say that someone else cannot be your inspiration, they can, but you must make the change for you.

When contemplating change ask yourself:

  • Who is this for?
  • Is this what I want to be doing?
  • Why is this change important to me?
  • If I reach my goal, how will I feel?
  • If I did not reach my goal, how would I feel?
  • How important is this change for me?

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