Lucy Hetherington is a BACP Registered Counsellor offering counselling in Henley-on-Thames and online.
She particularly enjoys working with people who have reached what she describes as the “messy middle” of life. Perhaps life hasn’t turned out as you expected. Or perhaps, on paper, you have much of what you thought you wanted, yet something still feels missing.
Relationships change. Children, parents, and responsibilities can pull you in different directions. Friendships shift. Careers that once felt right no longer do. You may be recovering from an affair, separation, miscarriage, or another significant loss. Sometimes there isn’t one obvious problem at all, just a growing sense that you’ve lost sight of yourself somewhere along the way.
You might be thinking, I should be grateful. Why isn’t this enough? Is it too late to change things? What do I actually want now?
Lucy offers somewhere you can be completely honest about those questions, without being told what you should do or how you ought to feel.
Many of Lucy’s clients arrive feeling stuck, overwhelmed or unsure which direction to take.
You may have spent years getting on with life, meeting other people’s needs or telling yourself things will feel better once the next milestone is reached. Keeping busy may have worked for a while. But eventually, doing more doesn’t necessarily make you feel any more fulfilled.
Therapy with Lucy isn’t about telling you how to fix your life. It’s an opportunity to slow things down and understand what is happening underneath the busyness.
Together, you can explore what matters to you now, rather than what you once thought your life was supposed to look like. The aim is to help you reconnect with yourself, make sense of what you need and begin seeing possibilities where previously everything may have felt stuck.
Lucy has a particular interest in supporting people affected by miscarriage, baby loss and infertility.
These experiences can bring grief that isn’t always fully recognised by the people around you. Alongside sadness, there may be anger, guilt, jealousy, isolation, anxiety or a painful sense that other people’s lives are moving forward while yours has stopped.
The experience can also affect your identity, your relationship with your body, your partner and the future you had imagined.
Lucy offers space for whatever the loss means to you. There is no expectation that you should have “moved on” or be coping differently by now.
Lucy has undertaken specialist training in working with rape and sexual violence and previously volunteered for three years with a rape crisis charity.
She understands the importance of allowing someone who has experienced sexual violence to retain control over what they share and when they share it.
You will not be expected to tell Lucy everything that happened. Sharing is never an obligation.
Therapy can instead move at a pace that feels manageable for you, exploring the impact of what happened and supporting you in reconnecting with yourself, your relationships and your sense of safety.
Relationships are a significant part of Lucy’s work.
She supports people experiencing relationship difficulties, affairs and infidelity, separation, divorce and changes within long-term relationships.
An affair or relationship breakdown can leave you questioning far more than the relationship itself. You may find yourself wondering who you are, whether you can trust your judgement and what your future will look like.
Or perhaps you’re the person who has had an affair and are trying to understand why. What were you looking for? What felt missing? What does what happened tell you about yourself, your relationship, or the life you have been living?
Lucy provides a space where you can explore these questions without someone taking sides or telling you whether you should stay, leave, forgive, or start again.
Lucy welcomes conversations about sex, sexuality, kink and different relationship structures, including consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and polyamory.
You don’t need to educate your therapist about why your relationship doesn’t fit a conventional model, nor assume that your sexuality, kink or relationship structure will automatically be treated as the source of whatever has brought you to counselling.
Sex can also simply be talked about.
This is particularly relevant to Lucy’s work with men. More than half of her clients are men, and she recognises that some men have had very few opportunities to talk openly about relationships, loneliness, sex, loss or how they are actually feeling.
Lucy isn’t a blank wall, and she isn’t interested in pretending to be one.
She brings her genuine self into the room: warmth, curiosity, humour and a willingness to gently challenge you when that might be useful.
Clients can bring the difficult things, but therapy doesn’t have to be relentlessly serious. Good things are welcome too. Lucy will notice your progress and celebrate the moments when something begins to shift.
She wants you to feel that she is firmly in your corner without creating an expectation that you need to perform, please her or become a particular version of yourself.
Perhaps the best description of how Lucy hopes clients experience working with her is:
“She’s in my corner and believes in me, but I can’t get away with lying to myself.”
Lucy is an integrative counsellor, drawing primarily on Person-Centred Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Gestalt and Attachment Theory.
In everyday terms, that means there isn’t a predetermined formula for your therapy.
Lucy wants to understand how you experience the world: what matters to you, what frightens you, what brings you joy, where self-doubt appears, and what you may have learned about yourself through your relationships and experiences.
You might explore how you show up in romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships, and whether patterns developed earlier in your life are still serving you now.
Sometimes you may notice how your body responds to situations and what that response might be communicating. At other times, creative approaches can help give shape to something that has been difficult to explain in words.
The aim isn’t simply for Lucy to give you answers. She knows therapy is really beginning to work when you start making connections for yourself.
Sitting opposite a therapist in a counselling room doesn’t suit everybody.
Lucy also offers Walk & Talk therapy, giving you the opportunity to have your counselling session outdoors while walking together.
Some people find that walking makes conversation feel more natural. Being outdoors and moving can also provide a different experience from traditional room-based therapy, particularly if you find sustained eye contact uncomfortable or simply feel more at ease when you are moving.
Walk & Talk sessions remain counselling sessions, with the same therapeutic boundaries and focus as Lucy’s work in the counselling room.
Lucy has always been interested in people and their stories.
Before becoming a counsellor, she spent 15 years working in the not-for-profit sector in Oxford. She now combines counselling with her role as Operations Manager at a busy community hub.
That combination suits her: in-depth one-to-one conversations alongside fast-paced community work, or, as Lucy puts it, meaningful human connection and beautifully colour-coded spreadsheets.
Her experiences have strengthened her belief that people do better when they have somewhere they can connect, be listened to and feel that they belong.
Lucy is a BACP Registered Counsellor.
Her qualifications and specialist training include:
Her integrative practice is informed by Person-Centred Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Gestalt and Attachment Theory.
Lucy offers:
Sessions are £65 for 50 minutes.
Lucy currently sees clients on Wednesdays and Friday mornings. She usually offers a regular weekly appointment, with some flexibility where needed.
Absolutely. You don’t need a diagnosis, a crisis or even a clear explanation of why you’re unhappy. You can start with the feeling that something isn’t right. Lucy will help you gently begin to unpick what has brought you to therapy, without rushing you to find an answer.
This is something Lucy frequently encounters. Having things you value doesn’t mean you must feel fulfilled all the time, and wanting something to change doesn’t make you ungrateful. Counselling can help you understand what’s missing, what matters to you now and whether something in your life needs to change.
Yes. What gets described as a “midlife crisis” can encompass questions about identity, relationships, ageing, career, family, loss and what you want from the next stage of your life. Therapy provides somewhere to explore those questions without pressure to make immediate decisions.
Yes. Whether you have discovered an affair or have had an affair yourself, Lucy offers somewhere to explore what has happened and what it means for you without automatically taking sides or telling you what you should do.
Yes. More than half of Lucy’s clients are men. She welcomes conversations about relationships, sex, loneliness, identity, loss, and the pressures men may feel they should manage without support.
Yes, as long as they are still a babe in arms. Lucy can discuss the practicalities with you beforehand so you can decide whether Walk & Talk therapy will work for you.
Lucy offers a free 15-minute introductory call. This gives you an opportunity to talk briefly about what has brought you to counselling, ask questions, and get a feel for whether Lucy might be the right therapist for you. If it feels right, you can then arrange your first session.
You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart before talking to someone.
Perhaps you’re grieving something you’ve lost. Perhaps a relationship is changing, you’re questioning the life you’ve built, or you’ve simply reached a point where you no longer know what you want.
Counselling can give you somewhere to stop ploughing through and start listening to yourself.
If you would like to explore working with Lucy, complete the enquiry form below and our team can help you take the next step.